If...

My father loved this poem enough to memorize it by heart. I remember him reciting it to me and my grandmother on the way to go get our Christmas tree in 1994.
Here it is..

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Season of Change

This year has been a complete whirlwind for me. I spent the first part of this year focusing on me, trying to understand myself and what I want for me. It is a really a good thing that I took that time, because I just spent the last several months going through the worst time of my life. It seems like God was allowing a time of preparation to be strong enough emotionally to handle what was to come.

On April 20, 2010, my father was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in the bile duct that leaves the liver. From that moment on, I watched my father's health and abilities decline daily. I spent every possible moment with him and made ever accommodation possible to ensure that he could make it through this terrible situation as smoothly as possible. While there were hopes that natural medicine would heal him, that didn't pan out. Sadly, my father passed away on July 22, 2010.

I have to say, my father and I had a beautiful relationship. The time I spent with him over these last few months were a wonderful gift that I thank God for. I do miss him terribly. He was such a huge part of my life and he was my best friend. I am so greatful I was always his "Little Buddy". It was the highlight of my life.